I can’t stop crying and questioning did I do the right thing even though he gave me that look like “it is time” the guilt and pain is just more than I can handle. Howevere never picked up from the operation – like a swing – in the morning he was better and later deteriorated and like that for three days. She stopped eating food and hardly would drink water so i knew it was time. I feel so guilty for not seeking help earlier, altho given his age it likely wouldnt have helped but I still feel like a terrible furbaby mum :-( If theres any positive its that I was holding him til the end & he didnt die on a cold table. Rachel, I too had to put down our 15+ yr old cat yesterday due to late stage kidney disease. We were told giving her the surgery could prolong her life by up to 5 years, a healthy 5 years. She wouldn’t stand up and stick her head out the car window anymore. I feel like I’ve lost a limb, and everywhere i turn something reminds me of her. I raised her until 2004-at that time I began caregiving for my mom and felt like her unrelentless attention was ‘too much’ and a ‘bother’. The word euthanasia means "good death" and is used to describe the act of putting a pet to sleep. She had been dying out there for two and half months and we had somehow missed her every single day. after the first dose the Vets came in and told us to prepare for him not going home as they could not see improvement. The day I picked her up I took her right to my vet-who also uses holistic methods. The house seems wrong without him here, I know putting him down was the best thing for him as his kidneys were totally shot and he hated being at the vets, I feel bad he spent his last days of his life unhappy at the vets and not with me or in the garden. On Jan. 4, 11 years and 26 days after I walked out of an animal shelter in New Jersey with a little white and brown dog attached to the end of a brand-new leash, she died. This is what’s making me more upset than anything in one way, I had him and his brothers for 2 years and had been looking after them at an animal rescue I volunteer at for 4 – 5 months before. I’ve been speaking to him, begging for forgiveness, and telling him how much I love him. It’s destroying me knowing how much I failed him. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but I got to my destination and she was still acting weird and my mom noticed her stomach had a slight bloat. Through my work as a healer, I have had a few animals that have been assisted to cross come through over the years, always with messages of the deepest love & gratitude for their people – never once has there been an issue around forgiveness or blame for what occurred. My dad was very obsessive when it came to feeding the cats or cleaning after them. I hope he didn’t think I had abandoned him. Your post has helped me to realize that we all struggle in different ways. This site is a blessing. We feel guilty after we know what happened and look back on the event. So i had to take hime to another vet which thankfully was close by. He had arthritis and was incontinent for more than a year. It was so gut wrenching that we couldn’t take it so we took her to the vet and had her put down. The vets said at the time she had maybe 6-8 weeks tops. We cuddled him and told him that we loved him and his passing was peaceful and I don’t feel guilty about that part as it was the right thing to do. I know personally that she would have never hurt me and even though I did the right thing by my mother, I feel like I did the wrong thing by my dog. I miss him so so much and find it impossible to live without him, he was truly amazing. I took him to the Vet who gave me the choice of waiting on it healing in time (around 10 weeks) but he would still be in pain or having him sedated and them trimming the claw and cauterising it that day. That phrase “might have had” made more sense to me than anything I’ve read. I made sure we had I contact and made sure he could see me and hear me. Pet parents also may feel guilty, replaying events that led to the pet’s death and second-guessing themselves. RIP my boy Brian. She told me she left her alone when she went away and a friend would fill her dried food. My dad had told me, having had other dogs, that I wouldn’t want to see him go and the injection being given, that we should leave and say goodbye, and the vet does it when we’re gone. Within the last couple of years, she developed diabetes after having tumor-removal surgery. earlier this week, we noticed his breathing was abnormal and almost as if he had shortness of breath, rapid breathing, but his heart beat seemed normal for him. When I laid eyes on him, I just knew we were meant for each other. This came suddenly, my family pet for 11 years. I thought – was case scenario – yes. I’m bawling all the time and seeing his soulmate who we adopted same day grieve. feels so vile and heartbreaking. Her was 8 years old and had Disk Disease resulting in loss of use of hind legs . My name is Mike. I hope with time I can release the guilt and grief, but right now I’m an emotional wreck. However what kills me is that I should have taken him that night and he may still be here with me. What I saw will haunt me forever. He lost his spirit in a sense but when he would get up there were times he would wag his tail but then times it was limp and he would separate from us. Why didn’t I see the red flags with this vet? But in the morning he fell off the bed and took off out of the room walking like he was drunk, then lay down. I have never forgiven myself since. I am seeking answers/affirmations/guidance from anyone who has been through as extreme a situation as mine. It was so unlike her to run out the front door like that, she usually liked the backyard and was weary of the front. Elena decided to talk with her parents about how she was feeling. .his grave is beneath our willow tree and I can’t even open my shades for what I used to run home to do.I keep wishing I could go back to the day before and really think it through, could I clean up after him just a few more times. They also said there are risks with the procedure and some dogs can die from it. His breathing was quick and his pupils were dialated. She was the most precious and sweet pittbull boxer mix I’ve ever met. Learning to celebrate that life is brief and love is forever and forgiveness is the most healing gift we can offer ourselves or another. I took him to the vet today and was today he needed surgery, x Rays blood work and medications. You did share a part of your life with this cat and she was apart of you. Then our pain comes in and we have to wonder if we made the right choice. .please God forgive and help me. I had her privately cremated. I rescued her from the streets of Ohio 3 years ago when she kept visiting my patio. She had so much good in her life, I know that, but none of it seems to matter. I had to put my doggy down after having her for 10years. And abandoned her. She would lick my tears when I was sad. The pain is unbearable I don’t know if my life will ever be happy again. On the day she passed away, I was overcome with a feeling of death. Now I feel that I should of tried more treatments before I put her down. The full brake happened just above the tumour and there was nothing they could do, no other bone for the bone to mend to. By Tuesday morning he was much weaker and his leg almost looked blue on inside and it was really swollen. But when we are making decisions and doing things for our pets, our actions are based on the fact that we care about our pets. but was always assured by the noise they made. I didn’t want him to wait until he deteriorated and suffered who knows what, so discussed euthanising him with my family over a couple of months. We always feel like we could have and should have done more. At some point we noticed he wouldn’t put the paw down and put weight on it and was hopping along three legged, still trying to chase sticks though, so we hoped he had just sprained it a little while running, like many times before, and just needed to rest it, by tomorrow it would be fine. That means that yesterday morning when we woke up and found her cuddling with the other two cats, something she never does, she was saying goodbye. When we were walking out of the room all I saw was her lifeless body on that cold table. She had a check up in July, she came back fine. I didn’t stay and hold him or say my good-byes at the vet’s clinic, because he was supposed to be fine. The most common method of putting a pet to sleep is through an overdose of an anesthetic agent. Two days after the cats were dropped off, we got a call from the shelter that one of the cats had escaped and is now lost. I still did not allow the vets to euthanize him, i picked him up ( now off oxygen) and I could feel his little heart beating like crazy, he made a cry of pain / discomfort when i picked him up and Then I knew there was nothing I could do and didn’t want him to suffer. My torment is that I later realized the steroids may have helped his breathing in a few days I didn’t realize that and thought it was only to help him eat and drink more. She knew I loved her. Oh the agony of seeing your beloved in such a mess physically and mentally. I’ve never received more love than from him. It turned out to be a Tumor about the size of a baseball.. And exploratory surgery was 2500$ just to go in and see.. Not for any answers or solutions. I feel so guilty. However, once we were about to put her down, I was asked if I wanted to be with her (which I had been for all my other animals) but because I know that with heart disease comes a not so pretty ending, I was scared and didn’t want to see her that way. I lost her last Sunday and I blame myself for not doing anything. Regardless of how bad I felt earlier that morning, it would only taken me a few seconds to go after her and bring her in the house. I had a similar experience as you. She was also my daughters dog and I feel so bad for her. Remember, that dogs grieve too (and so do other pets). I thought he was putting more care than necessary. I have been reading and suffering the loss of my dog. He was still loving and being his normal self so I thought. The guilt I feel about this is eating me alive. When I came back in the evening he was cheerfull once again. The decision was easy. I feel that I was an unwitting accomplice in his murder! I know I only had a short while with him, but I loved him so much. I am consumed by grief and guilt. It was very peaceful, and we buried her behind our house in the field she once loved to run. I’m surprised that I’m grieving so when it wasn’t exactly a rash decision I made. I wish the right answer could come from me, but I think the only right answer about how to keep Lily has to come from inside yourself. Some people feel guilt if they think they are grieving more for a loved dog than for a human they have lost. I am forever grateful for the many years of memories made but the emptiness I feel and the void of presesence is overwhelmimg. An hour later they called and told me he had died. I rung the vet and she said to bring him in at 11 (it was a Sunday so was the on call vet and she lived 20mins out of town, at this point it was about quarter to 10) but about half an hour later, he started to convulse and dribble. I called a couple of hours later and was told he was fine and had come round from the anaesthetic but was still groggy so they advised for me to wait a couple of hours before collecting him. I never thought in a million years that would happen to her or any of my other cats. Our choices were to aspirate the spleen or just let her hang on as long as possible. I had him cremated and should be getting his ashes soon. It was not your intent to hurt the cat. Later the first night they called me and told me his temp had dropped a little to low. I miss her. Me not putting out the humane trap in the right place to catch her after I saw her. They said it wouldn’t be realistic to keep him sedated during recovery so they could treat him. How do you stop feeling guilty after the death of your beloved pet dog or cat? Took him back in the next day for a check up, and was ok to come back home. Luckily, if you call it that, he died by smoke inhalation not burning, but nonetheless knowing he had to suffer like that still to do this day, and it's been 10 years, breaks my heart. Either way, Trixy deserved better. I feel exactly like you do. I just put my girl Joanie down after 14 years and feeling very grief stricken and also left wondering if I should have waited. A few days later, I got a text message picture on my cell phone. It seems ridiculously too soon. Guilt is often a normal emotion to feel when we have to make a tough decision though, especially if we aren't sure it is the right one. Doing the responsible thing is not always easy. I would put food in for them daily through the little side door but couldnt see in. I would love to get another Dog, but there is so many thing stopping me. Hugs and well wishes to you and yours. Self-punishment will not help. I was moderately concerned when he had difficulty trying to move his bowels unsuccessfully. She didn’t make it through the night. He had tumors and I determined he was in pain or felt sick. Not for anyone. I feel like a horrible, coldhearted person. There was stuff all over his face ( something to do with the kidney failure), we knew he had kidney and thyroid problems since November and have been doing everything to help him, give him meds every day and renel food etc. We cannot control nature, as badly as we try. I find myself having so much dread and regret about that day, replaying the whole horrible scene every morning and every night. This little guy didn’t have what he needed to survive. I went to get the female out yesterday and to my horror i discovered both my babies were dead… and it WAS my fault…none of this “accidental events leading up” it was literally no-one elses fault but my own, i had forgotten to give them water. She was always there with me. He came to our bed Saturday night and my husband could tell he wanted up but needed help. But we though it was a mistake maybe the cat escaped. I always thought I was strong enough to make the decision to put them to sleep but I was wrong. Well that hit me how serious it was. But I am taking it day by day it helps to have websites like this to share our grief. She still ate and evacuated well but I would cry when she would be oblivious to things, which made her so vulnerable and when she hurt herself by bumping into things. He did blood work. I left my dog for surgery and he passed away. I felt it and it was clicking and he was in a lot of pain when I tried to move it. He made it through surgery but died two hours later. After our beloved dog, Naura, unexpectedly died from heart failure, it seemed that my heart would never mend. I was so accustomed to him always being there, always walking around, playing with our cat, wagging his tail, running in circles in the backyard, swimming. We decided to keep Lily because it was not her fault. With dogs that I have autopsied in situations like this, sudden death has always been caused by massive internal bleeding. I feel like I didn’t try hard enough and fight for him. Am I wrong for thinking and feeling like a horrible person for doing this? I hope my sweet girl remembers me and will forgive me. I just want to cry and I’m so angry. We didn’t want her to suffer anymore so we spent some time just getting Josie to calm down before letting the vet administer the shots. I too feel sick to my soul with guilt and shame of how my dog died 5 days ago. Want to thank you SUE for sharing your story ,it was comforting for me to read your words , We had to put our beloved Shih Tzu down a month ago now , It was One of the hardest things I had to decide to do . I wish I could do more, and I probably could have, I mean I was already in debt…but who’s to say that it would have saved her anyway. I had been so stressed out about money with christmas coming, a relative had commited suicide by gassing in a vehicle, My mum and i said our goodbyes to our 16yr old family pet who was my mums rock, then two days later mums in hospital as she has incurable cancer, so my mind was always elsewhere, and not where it should have been. I do still think it's crazy that my dog had two different cancers, ... many gifts" that I have received through the death of my dog is the ability to feel deeply a compassion and understanding for others that I have never experienced before. They said surgery, but because of the amount of stress it would put on him recovering in the clinic, he probably wouldn’t make it. He actually had a broken jaw. I have witnessed the toughest men you’ll ever meet bawling over the loss of a beloved pet, and I don’t blame them. I knew I would take him to the vet upon our return, but when we came home, he had died. Seventeen days shy of his 4th birthday.. I think I need to call and have a individual cremation so I can have a memorial for her to help me move on. Forgot to mention his age. If you are interested, keep an eye out for it. He tried to get some of the steam from the open shower door to clean himself a little, but that was about it. It hurts to say goodbye but when you put a pet to sleep, you can find comfort in knowing it is no longer hurting. Of course he got sick again. Be kind to yourself and know that you can’t control everything, it’s a very hard lesson I’ve learned this week. He was given tablets and seemed fine for awhile. What is the cause of her death. night, I had however the feeling that something must have happened to him, so the same evening I patrolled the whole neighbourhood, the nearby forster border, and also the main road, which he normally avoided, but I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t hit by a car. Before putting I pit her on the table she was sitting on my lap. Everywhere I look in my apartment I want to see him when I wake up in the morning I want to see him meeting me in the hallway. Unfortunately trips to the vet were few because of his nervousness in the treating rooms. I hope you may find comfort and inspiration here at Healing Pet Loss. It’s tough to hear her cry and watch her walk from room to room. thank you. Except, I want you to imagine that one day you get on the roller coaster and as it climbs, falls, twists and turns you realize that you feel nothing. I loved my Cody so much and all I wanted was for him not to suffer, I don’t feel they made me understand this pacemaker option and in fact I don’t think they should have been trying to answer my questions and giving me any feedback when they don’t even do the procedure there. I took him in and he had a huge crystal blockage. We’re all mourning together, my friends…and our pets are watching and loving us from wherever they are. He didn’t even have a name yet and I really hate myself right now. However, last Thursday 4am he had a series of about collapses which was so scary to witness, I thought he was weak from being sick but knew I had to get him to the vet. Fariba I am so sorry for the loss you are feeling. She had gotten very thin and a friend of mine felt she was dying. But I decided to make a last effort and putted “missing” ads at every bus station nearby, telling that I would even want to know it, if someone saw him dead. I brought Mugsy home when he was 6 weeks old and he was so little that I was able to carry him in my jacket pocket. He stayed in one night, he was ok to come home the next day. We had her blood checked to be sure her body could process the sedation – but I think this was focused on her liver / kidney function. And I would STILL I do it all if I could. It’s been a few weeks now for me and it’s still very hard. I must have been so loud, crying and saying ‘no, I want to go back’ a million times, I had lost all control. I certainly know how much pain you are in, but I am realizing that she is teaching a great deal about life, my relationships, my priorities. Then 4 days ago, we took him in the car to a park. Feeling guilty and blaming yourself or someone else keeps you in the pain. I decided to go with the operation and signed the consent form. She was in her early 60s, had high blood pressure and was a smoker. It makes no sense! I certainly hope it is true. The loss of a beloved pet is often accompanied by intense feelings of guilt and regret. Award-winning dog blog Champion of My Heart offers tips for NOT feeling guilty about getting a new dog after your dog dies. The guilt/regret of not waiting longer is unbelievable. RIP my tiny princess. My dog got hit by a car and died a few minutes later. After days of searching the house, the neighborhood bushes, neighbors’ garages, putting up flyers around the neighborhood, in mailboxes, gas stations, vet offices, local rescues, multiple Facebook posts, etc, I found his body yesterday in the neighbor’s yard, a mere 10 feet from my front door. So although we got another precious week with our dog it was the most miserable and stressful week of our lives. You may have read this at some point- but there are 5 stages to grief. I cried all night. It has been six years and I have never gotten over it. I hope you find peace. He just died on Saturday (03/14). We spent the day together Friday and the vet came to our house in the evening. You name it, he had it. Jen I just lost my chihuahua of 11 years I am also devastated and I feel lost without her. The one cat is from the same litter, so they have done everything together. The operation to save her was going to be over $5000, there was no way we could afford that. I took the next day off work and spent all day with him. The vet did a bunch of test 900$ worth.. And came up with nothing. I did not feel attached to her, I was just trying to let her live out her life. I only hope that the 8 weeks was enough to show her how sorry and regretful I was. He would only walk a couple of (shaky) feet and flop over. It's hard to make a life or death decision and not question whether or not we could have done something else to prevent the loss of our pet. i had been feeding a feral cat for over a year..over the last few months he had started to loose weight..i was moving so i decided to trap him and take him with me..Ge did good at my house for 3 days..then he began bleeding from the mouth..i took him to the emergency vet..but dont feel they did a good job..so 3 days later i took him to another vet..He seemed better for a few days but then began to cry. I couldn’t put her through anymore suffering. I was sick and devastated. Why I feel guilty the night my wife passed from a brain aneurysm she told me she had a very bad headache but she had been drinking so that was nothing out of the ordinary she even puked which was nothing out of the ordinary the next morning when I got ready to go to work I … You may feel that you are at fault for not providing a better quality of life for your pet. My dad is still having bursts of tears and getting choked up, maybe because he’s out at work all day (my health doesn’t permit much work for me at the moment) and distracted from it, and only feels it when he comes home, whereas I’m at home most of the time, soaking it all in much sooner. If not, I hope these points may help you ‘hate’ yourself less: Hi I felt a strong sense that the emergency had been diverted, I got them to let me take him home and all was going to be well. Those three days of waiting were BRUTAL knowing he would no longer be with me. Maybe he woulda lasted a few more weeks…. I knew it was time. I lost my sweet kitty Sunday morning to a horrible animal that attached and strangled her to death. I have a really good friend who has been my shoulder to cry on, but it’s so hard to deal with. Tried to get him to wag his tail one last time or give me a high five but he wouldn’t. My beautiful boy, Meeko, passed away on Saturday. All the good times I remember drive me to smile, and cry all at the same time. But will I ever love her again? Then life moves its cards and makes me jobless and financially miserable and dependent on everyone, and all I had to do in a day is tear myself into three parts, going to a new job, living with my partner and living with my kiddos (3 cats and the one innocent poor Mr Tom). fighting for life. I feel like I failed him, because I didn’t search for him already on the first evening. Through my twenties. my dog was killed about three months ago and i got another dog the day before it became three months. My guilt is killing me. I made that awful decision to let him go and I am now so full of sadness and question if I should have gave him longer to see if he recovered and should I have had him operated on. I waited more than a week a half latter and saw she was not geting any better, she was eating but she was acting very lathgetic and hidding in different place, she seemed very sad. We thought he was declining way too fast and to put him through all the additional stress of sedating him for multiple different tests was too heart breaking. He was bound to be tired and wanting to rest. She stopped eating and drinking and wouldnt even take her treats. She never came home. Right now it’s things in her life that I let her down with that is killing me mentally it’s hard for me to carry on. Once home, I would spend the evening playing with her and brushing her. When there he would howl and cry when they took him in the back….. All this is a process and it is natural that it will take time to heal, just focus on the wonderful memories you shared. Melanie says: August 10, 2019 at 1:42 am Darryl, I have just lost my daddy too. 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